I still have dreams about those creep-aliscious monsters swarming through celluloid! It's hard enough to make any movie, much less one for a half-million dollars. That's what some Hollywood movies spend on snacks. So before you judge this cult-classic, gothic horror spoof too harshly, bear in mind our budget was so low my mother had to make me lunch.

Where shall I begin...?  The twisted tale of SPOOKIES which went on to win several awards in the International Festival of Science Fiction and Fantasy Films in Paris, France in 1986.

There were three directors (Thomas Doran, Brendan Faulkner & Frank Farel) prior to my hiring, who were fired by the producer, Michael Lee, a charming Englishman and master chess player. I never met those other directors, but I'm sure they hate me.

I was originally hired by the producer as an editor to fix the project. The first cut - nearly three hours long - was so unworkable, that I felt we could only use bits and pieces. By the time I finished trimming the fat, the beef was only 40 minutes long. The useable footage was mostly special effects, monsters, and gorey goo.

Since we now had only a half a movie, we had to go shoot another 45 minutes. The problem was that the fired directors had used all their friends as actors, and none of them would work with us to get the film finished.

But would we let that rather large problem stop us? We wouldn't be filmmakers if we would be daunted by such materialistic matters. We would simply write a new script - or more precisely half a script - that would allow us to intercut some of the original footage with brand new footage - using an entirely new set of actors, with an entirely new story line. My writing partner, Ann Burgund, and myself locked ourselves in a small room with one light, one computer and plenty of ramen noodles. The result - a new half-script that created a new story, interweaving 45 minutes of the old story.

Although we had the original dilapidated old mansion to shoot in, the footage was originally shot in one season, and we were shooting at the opposite time of year. The foliage had completely changed. But that's why you have art directors. This will not be the first movie to fake Fall in the Spring. And our art directors went on to Saturday Night Live having honed their magic-making out-of-nothing skills

Here's how it all worked: I would have my new actors open a door - and cut to an "old scene" occurring within the room. Or my characters would look in the window to witness previous cinematic efforts. Or new subplots, twists and turns would weave through old ones. With careful storyboarding, and matching lighting, we were able to make it look as if one set of actors were interacting with another set -- who they had never seen. Then I cut the old and new footage together to make it look like one 85-minute movie.

I couldn't have done any of this without my devoted cameramen, Bob Chappel, who started out shooting porno movies and went on to direct his own R rated movies in Jakarta - and C.W. Cressler who also cut his cinematic chops shooting X-rated extravaganzas and went on to write and direct wonderful, quirky, violent movies such as "Maniacts."

But SPOOKIES owes it's cinematic aroma incredibilis to the masterful special effects of Arnold Garguiulo the second. He lived at home with his parents, and while all was completely normal upstairs, downstairs in Arnold's basement dungeon were drawers of eyeballs, trays of teeth, shelves of blood, walls of masks and every kind of horror you could hope to dream of.

Now, SPOOKIES has some very devoted fans, especially in France where they appreciate cult movies, but the critics weren't exactly kind. Although we did make it to Variety's Top 50 List on December 23, 1987!

Some memorable moments were -- The Audition: Since we didn't have the budget to have a formal casting session, we saw beautiful and hopeful young ing‚nues right in the editing room (at the Film Center on 9th Avenue in New York City.) For their screen test, these lovely ladies had to turn to the camera and let out a blood-curdling scream! If they passed that test, they were given a page of dialogue to read. We made quite a few enemies amongst the other editors down the hall -- as all day long, New York's finest femmes let out the most horrific wails I had ever heard.

Of course, since SPOOKIES was such a low-budget cinematic effort, we couldn't afford union actors, but no worries! These girls must have spent their senior year in high school practicing this sophisticated move of turning to the camera and letting out a sound that should require a license. They were good! But finally, we found none of us could resist the sweet Maria Pechukas, who would do just about anything for her first movie role.

Are you wondering just what it is she would do? Her own stunts of course! She hung from the crumbling rafters, had her wedding dress torn by zombies erupting from the earth, and ate our location food without complaint.

And then there was young Alec Nemser, the little boy we "buried alive." His screams were so realistic, neighbors called the cops while we were shooting, claiming we were truly murdering the young innocent. You'd think the 35 millimeter cameras and movie lights would've proved that in the words of Mr. Alfred Hitchcock, "It's only a movie!" but alas we were forced to take time out from our tight nine-day shooting schedule to answer some blistery questions from the local fuzz.

And just who were those Zombies clawing at the lovely Maria, ripping off everything and leaving her in the classic horror-movie state of undress?

Well, there was Robert Epstein, the first boy I ever kissed, and a handful of friends from acting class, a mother or two, and anyone willing to stay up all night for not much more than a stale tuna sandwich.

But hey, we were making Cinema. Or at least a movie. Or at least something that would play in a VCR. Truthfully, it did play in theaters, and I went to see it opening day in a Times Square Theater in New York City that could be it's own horror film location. I slunk low in my chair as the afternoon audience of about 20 people laughed in all the right and wrong places and generally yelled all the important things at the screen such as "Don't go in there, you idiot!" It was music to my ears.

When SPOOKIES played in the Paris Festival, next to "The Hand" by Oliver Stone, and "Day of the Dead" by George Romero, I knew we might be the poor relations, but we had arrived. I was interviewed by the French press and by magazines like L'Ecran Fantastique (June 1986). The French are the greatest cinemaphiles! And there's nothing better for the wounded-directorial ego than to be interviewed by them. They see all kinds of references to great classic films which I was too embarrassed to admit I had never seen. These astute commentators always manage to find layers of meaning in your films you never imagined.

And that's just a little bit of SPOOKY history for all the SPOOKIES fans!

Genie Joseph    (E-mail Genie Joseph)
Director, Editor, Co-Writer of
SPOOKIES
Distributed by SONY